office halloweens

This time of year is always particularly difficult for me. Its not the 17000 papers that the college wants turned in this week so I can graduate a million months from now. Its not the overwhelming heap of projects and papers piling up on my desk or the 107 emails in my inbox.
No.
Its Halloween.
Now I'm not sure if you've experienced the stress that is an office Halloween party.

Some offices go all out

Others are less enthusiastic




But you never really know where your office stands on the issue until the day it arrives. Oh you can ask, but people will tell you things like "yeah its fun" or "I didn't dress up but I just forgot to" so you never can quite tell.
After thinking about it for 2 seconds I was sure that my office was the type of office that really celebrates Halloween. Afterall, at that point I had been there since the end of June and the only holiday we had, Independence Day, everyone had dutifully celebrated by taking the day off and lighting fireworks. Obviously these people were spirited.
So I set to work on my costume. I had considered other costumes...
slutty nurse
slutty flight attendant
slutty devil thingy
slutty optometrist
and all the other costumes that they had available for women at the costume store, but I secretly already had my mind set.
Yeah. A Dinosaur. And I was going to make my OWN costume too! People would be so impressed.


I was a little preoccupied with the prospect of winning the illusive grand prize. My co-workers kept telling me that Arnold won the prize every year. Which made sense because Arnold wore costumes to work all the time.


When I arrived at the party I saw Arnold immediately.




And I won the stupid grand prize.
It was a stupid piece of stupid paper with writing on it.
It said

I kept it in my office all year long to remind me of the revenge I would need to take to restore my honor. And every year since then I've done a variation on the same theme







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