I've whittled my way down to about 30 pages left to write and one last regression analysis and a few hundred more pages to read. My brain is tired. If not for the quantity of work then surely for the type of work its attempting to do. Quantitative analysis is a strange process for this brain of mine. Imagine trying to understand a new language within your own language and then adding symbols. For example, lets say you were talking with someone and they were saying words you didn't understand. They used a word like sycophantic. In your mind as they are speaking you think, ok that word means butt kisser, and you begin to translate a word into ones you are more familiar with and then go back to put the meaning into context. But imagine if every word they used was like that and you were trying to de-code it at the speed they were saying it. Our minds do this naturally to a certain extent but only consciously when its a language beyond standard comprehension. Then assume that every word is represented by a symbol and you must do mathematical equations with these symbols to prove whatever political theory you are working on. Its taken me almost the entire semester just to hang with the language, let alone the mathematics. And thats with a fabulous teacher and hours on my own to retranslate everything into my own trivial terms. How can I be feeling so stupid while doing what I think might be some pretty advanced crap?
As I write this there is a huge tea party rally one block from my house (its tax day for those of you who are a bit less informed and tea partyers or partyists or whatever are anti big government spending) and I think it turned into a techno dance party about an hour ago because there is some crazy loud eurotrance music happening. I love living downtown. Always an adventure.
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