Its been a crappy day. And then I went home a discovered the beautiful trees that shade the entire back of my property had all been cut down by the city so that they can put up a new power line. Even better, they left all the remains for us to clean up. I wanted to cry but I was too angry to cry. My beautiful, lovely, shaded backyard now looks TERRIBLE! Worse than terrible. LOOKS LIKE &*%@! And to make it EVEN better that that - we are supposed to have our home be in a historic home tour in 2 DAYS! We are frantically running around to nurseries now trying to find trees to replace the gorgeous, large, old, irreplaceable ones that helped draw us to the property in the first place. And it will still look like crap.
I'm so frustrated. I plan on talking to the city people tomorrow but there isn't much I can do at this point.
I hate feeling helpless.
So I bought a tote bag.
I'm not sure how this helps the situation but sometimes in moments when I feel like everything is completely out of my control (something I've been feeling a lot lately) I grasp at stupid things to try and reassure myself about the world and my control over it. Its not buying happiness, per se. I think its purchasing pacification.