a birth story...s

(Whitman - top, Charleston - bottom, taken 3.2.12)

Well its been four months now since the boys were born and I realized that I never wrote their birth story. Better late than never, I always say.

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Monday night (after writing my pouty face post) I went to my sister-in-laws house to celebrate her birthday. It was also my brother's birthday so I called him. I remember telling him that the boys would likely arrive sometime in early December. heh.

That night I started having some pretty strong contractions and decided to leave the birthday festivities. I stayed up most of the night with contractions but figured they would go away as they always did. I got a few hours of sleep and woke up with equally strong contractions at about 6am.

We called the clinic and they told us that if I could walk and talk through the contractions then they were braxton hicks. I sort of interpreted that as a challenge and decided to go to work, afterall they were as strong as the night before and those had sorta subsided. I worked for a few hours but they kept getting stronger.

At around lunch time I told Doug that we should go in to the hospital just to figure out what was going on. He finished up some work and made me lunch and then we left.

When we arrived at the hospital the contractions were really strong. They asked me if I wanted a wheel chair and I said no (remember - i can walk and talk through these things so I don't need no stinkin wheel chair). I walked about ten feet and then could hardly stand. They quickly wheeled me into a room to see what was going on.

They checked the babies position first. They were still breech. Then they checked me. I was at 5cm dilated and completely effaced. Suddenly everyone started moving very quickly. I was still concerned that my contractions were even registering. They hurt and I wanted someone to tell me that they were showing up on the monitor so I could know that I wasn't crazy or a wimp. No one ever told me they were registering. Instead everyone was busy. Doug and I looked at each other and in between contractions I asked him what was going on. He said he didn't know but he thought that they were thinking that maybe I was in labor. We both laughed. Silly nurses. What do they know?

The anesthesiologist came in and the nurses told me they needed to put an epidural line in to slow the contractions and stop dilation. By this point the contractions were really strong and I agreed. They put in the line about 1 minute after checking my dilation. After the line was in they decided to check me again before they administered the contraction medication. And five minutes after I had been a 5cm and 100% effaced, I was 10 cm and 100% effaced. They quickly administered the strongest numbing medication and began to prep me for a c-section.

The doctor came in and explained what was going on. He said that they had wanted to slow things down but that I progressed too fast and now they need to get the babies out immediately before my water could break on its own. Doug and I were still in complete shock. Doug kept telling me everything would be ok but I could tell neither of us really knew that for sure. But seconds later, I was quickly wheeled into the operating room.

I remember being so scared. I was shaking from the drugs and kept worrying about the boys. Doug stayed by me and helped comfort me, stroking my hair and holding my hand.

He was in the middle of telling me how much he loved me when we heard a little cry. Doug immediately popped up from the sheet separating us from the lower half of my body just in time to see the doctors pull Charleston out of my stomach. They flashed him above the sheet for me to see his beautiful little body. I frantically asked if he was okay and Doug told me with tears streaming down his face that we had a beautiful boy and that I had done such a good job. Three minutes later they pulled Whitman out. I watched Doug as he gazed upon our second sweet little baby. I tried to see through him what I couldn't see through the sheet. Whitman cried much quieter and they didn't show him to me because he needed immediate care. Doug was overcome with love and yet he looked concerned. I began to sob. I was so scared that they weren't ok. I asked Doug to leave me and go find out what was going on with them. He dutifully left and found out that they were looking great but would need to be on breathing assistance amongst other things. They were born less than two hours after we had arrived at the hospital.

The rest of that day was pretty fuzzy. They sewed me up and then wheeled me into the NICU to see my boys - Whitman for the first time. It was amazing. I felt so much love immediately. I strained to stretch from my hospital bed to theirs in order to touch their little hands. They gripped my finger. It was brief but it was bliss.

It would be several hours before I'd get to see them again. It'd be days before I'd get to hold them. It'd be five weeks before I'd get to take them home. But I didn't know that at the time. All I knew was that I was deeply and forever in love with these two beautiful baby boys and that they'd always, always have my heart.

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Its been four months and I still marvel at the day these boys arrived. I look at the scar from my c-section and can hardly believe two babies were pulled through it. I'm grateful and even more in love today than I was on the day they were born.