5 Things I Discovered When I Became a Parent

5. How to Do Everything with One Hand

Prior to becoming a parent I did a task here and there with one hand, you know, like writing a note or opening a door. NOW though, I do everything with one hand. I had no idea that parents were one-handed wonders. Blow my nose? Sure, no problem. Make dinner? I mean, who needs an extra hand? Put clothes on? ...um. yes. sorta.

4. Chewing Someone Else's Fingernails is Not Always Inappropriate

As it turns out, there are times when its quite necessary. I'm pretty sure this is a disgusting practice but after getting scratched to hell and having almost clipped off one of their fingers, chewing their nails it is. I stop at the fingers though. So thats not as gross, right?

3. POOP is More Than Just a Funny Word

I feel as though I wasn't really introduced to poop until I became a parent. Prior to parenthood, poop was a very small part of my world. :) Now though. Wow. I actually get excited about poop. Its an excellent sign of health, didn't you know?! Previously a taboo topic between my husband and I, now as parents, I think we discuss poop on a daily basis. And ok, well its still a funny word.

2. Moby Wraps are Both Awesome and Hellish

Its a wonderful feeling to have your little one bound to your chest, sleeping peacefully and breathing softly on your skin. Until they aren't. And then having a small baby tied to your body screaming bloody murder really really sucks. Like a nightmarish three-legged-race with an angry midget who has turrets. Sucks.

1. My Parents Love Me

No matter how crappy you think your parents are, if you are one those people who survives life at home to become an adult - your parents loved you. I seriously believe that if I can keep my boys ALIVE to the point of independence, then that should be proof enough of my love for them. I mean, without my parents, I literally would've eaten sticks of margarine until I had a coronary at the age of 6. I use to eat sticks of butter like they were candy bars. Mmmmm...butter....

Think about it. The process of self-discovery is a lot like taking lots of little quasi-suicide missions. Learn to walk? Sure. But learn to walk with no understanding of depth? BLAM! You can DIE from just walking off this tall ledge. You see what I'm saying? And its Parents that keep you from death! Even now, my three-month-old babies constantly try to jump out of my arms only to be greeted by the hardwood floors of death! And parental love is the only thing separating them.

But seriously.

I never realized how much my parents love me until I had children of my own. I was able to logically deduce it before (i.e. they drove great distances, they gave me money, they attended things, etc) but I never understood the way they must feel about me. I have a new level of love and appreciation for my parents. Afterall, they use to get excited about my poop!