Wednesday, December 1, 2010

oh life

Its that time of year. You know, the time of year where I just want to stay in bed under blankets (like those above) and not face deadlines for school and work and end of the year social engagements that take time time time. I've got 16 days to get through then I'm pretty well home free. This week I have a final paper for school, 17 proposals and 9 projects for work, and a big event for the young women on Saturday for church. I'm not ready to think about next week because its much worse. But this week, I can do this.
I feel like I just moan about how busy my life is on this blog repeatedly. Sorry about that. I lead a rich and very blessed life. I really really love my job. I love the company I work for. I love my boss. I really enjoy the study of political science and public administration and I'm excited about my thesis work. I love getting to work with the young women in our church and getting to head that program. I love the women I serve with in that position. I have fabulous and loyal friends. I am madly in love with my husband and I am more attracted to him every day. I love my home and my cat. I even love myself. I am pretty comfortable with who I am and who I am becoming and I think I even like that person.

I'm not saying all of this to brag. I'm saying this to remind myself that I have a fabulous life. I tend to focus on the stress that the blessings in my life cause me rather than the joy they create. But they do cause me happiness, otherwise I wouldn't keep them in my life. I strongly believe that if you really honestly get nothing out of something in your life, then you won't keep it in your life. I'm a strong rational choice theorist in that way. You do absolutely nothing that doesn't serve yourself in some way. This theory drives people crazy, especially when talking about service and self sacrificial activities. But the truth is, something drives you to do those things and, whatever it is, it is more important to you then the self sacrificial activity. For example, you may hate to speak to your mother but you do it because your desire to have a relationship is more important to you then the difficulties of speaking to her or the guilt of not speaking or whatever it may be. I don't believe its selfish either, our concern for self. When I think about God, I imagine that He would absolutely want us to want to better ourselves and be happy. I would want my children to be concerned for themselves. Why shouldn't He? Anyway, I'm preaching.
This is all to say, I'm happy. Stressed. But happy.
Don't those blankets look so cozy though?

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