worry

I hate worrying. Its probably why I hardly ever do it. Its pointless. It doesn't make you feel better. Most of the time it makes you feel worse. You seldom can change what it is you are worried about. The best thing is to figure how to pull on your boot straps and deal with it. But today I'm feeling worried. We aren't selling our house yet. We probably will move in two years or so. But we bought in the peak of 2007 and our house is not worth what it used to be even though we've put so much work into it. I love our home. LOVE IT. I'm so grateful that we bought it. We've housed 6 different people who needed a place to live. We've had many guests. We have meetings and events every single week and have for years. Its been a source of joy and learning and has enabled us to provide for others at a time in life when its hard to feel like you can. But besides all this, I'm pretty sure when we go to sell our house we are going to eat it in the pants. I'm not sure it will ever appraise for what we bought it for and we can't afford to shell out the 20k or 40k difference. Especially not with where it looks like we may be moving. We are young and a major credit hit like a short sell or worse a foreclosure could screw us for a very very long time.
So I'm worried. Ugh.

Longing for Spring

It rained yesterday. Rain is very unusual here. I have fabulous rain gear. I have a clear umbrella, a gray trench, and some bright yellow rain boots. I get so excited when it rains so I can sport my get-up. I have a bit of a cold so I didn't want to get out of my sweatpants and sweatshirt, so I just put the boots and the trench over them. In sum, I looked a bit ridiculous walking in a light misting of rain to the bakery down two doors but I didn't want to miss my chance to use my fabulous clear umbrella (and the sugar doughnut is worth looking dumb any day). My daffodils and crocus are already starting to peak up out of the ground! I'm sure there are many more cold snowy days ahead but today I'm just looking forward to spring!

I'm not in Kansas anymore

I went to Wichita for a few days to attend my grandmothers funeral. It was a crazy whirlwind trip consisting of scanning homework at Kinkos to email on the day of the funeral, accompanying the funeral congregation on New Age Baptist songs I don't know, and throwing up Zicam. Oh and did I mention the guy on the plane who sat in front of me reading his PORN mags the entire time. Yeah, straight up porno mags, a light read on the plane I suppose. What the? Anyway, I suppose there are a number of good things that came from the trip. I was able to see my family. I felt right at home with my extended family and realized how creepy genetics can sometimes be (for example me and all of my cousins have the equivalent of lock jaw at night and we all wear nightguards! now I don't feel quite as dumb). Also my family and I are all relatively similar in size and stature. So I'm normal Jo when I'm around them instead of little Jo. I was also able to cook a nice meal for my father (a bachelor of 20+ years). These were all lovely things. So now I'm back to the grind.

Schaefferstown

via flickr

I recently discovered there is a town in Pennsylvania by the name of Schaefferstown. This is a fabulous discovery. I'm pretty sure they are just pinning for a new resident and will shortly thereafter elect me mayor. If you are curious about some of the stats of my dear town, check out http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schaefferstown,_Pennsylvania. Maybe I could convince my father and my brothers to move there and we could take over (ala "...theres a new sheriff in town" Tombstone-style). Okay maybe I'm taking this little daydream of mine too far. I discovered this town because I was admiring one of my favorite kitchens in the blogosphere via http://www.brooklynlimestone.com/search/label/kitchen, and did a little research to find out who made her cabinets (in an effort to price out my dream kitchen...and no, I don't know why I do these things to myself) And found out they were made in...SCHAEFFERSTOWN! My people are skilled craftsfolk. I love them already. I mean check out their handiwork:

"not by the color of their skin..."

I paid tuition today. I had to pay the full tuition because I can't get a scholarship. Never mind that I have a 4.0 in Graduate School, I was told that is of little consequence when I went to the scholarship office today. After the lady asked if I was an incoming freshmen (yeah awesome- my self esteem went down a few more points, thanks) she then asked if I qualified for any of the minority student scholarships. Um what do you think lady? You color blind too? I told her that I am one of a handful of females in my entire program, that I work, that my parents didn't graduate from college, that I was raised on the streets by wolves but it didn't matter. She stamped my profile 'whitey' and then slammed the door on my 18-year-old looking face. Grrrr. I'm not asking for full tuition. I'm not asking for much, just a little help would be nice. I've got bills ya'll and I'm not talkin' dolla bills.

"...but by the content of their character."

She probably didn't celebrate MLK day yesterday.

living room before and after

So here is the living room before and after. Let me say a few things first:

The before photo was one from the ad for the house when we were looking to buy it. The after is pre bookcases,etc in the living room and has fall accents because the picture was taken a while ago. The giant photo is of our awesome cat but we don't worship her. We just have a large picture of her and pray beneath it a few times a day... :)

I WON

Oh man I am so excited right now! I entered a blog giveaway and I actually won! Check out these awesome pillows!

Major thanks to CocoCozy for not only starting my week off on a VERY happy note! but for helping make my home more beautiful!

Check out her lovely blog here:

http://www.cococozy.com/