Happy Days are Here Again

What up Blog World! Long time no talky talky (my bad)

Here is the loooooooong update

On Doug

Most days Doug is loving school. He comes home pumped about all the cool stuff he is learning and he works very very hard to make time for the family and get all the school work done and still have time to keep up with other media to help him in his program. Basically he is crazy busy but somehow is doing a really great job of juggling it all.

On the Provo house

Looks like the house will most likely close by the end of the month. The mortgage company approved the short sale and we are waiting for the final word from the city. I'm sad but also relieved and also a bit detached from the whole thing now that we are in the swing of things here. Though this is my favorite time of year in Provo and people post pictures of the canyons and a part of me just wants to cry and slowly stroke the computer screen... but I disgress. The house sitch is shaping up and we couldn't be more grateful.

On Austin

Cooler weather has arrived (at least for a little while) and it has been SO NICE! We've been able to keep the windows open at night and we have been outside EVERY DAY for like a week now. Holy crap is it nice to be about to not be stuck in the house. This has really really improved our mood (the collective House of Crabb mood that is). We also found a rockin' awesome park very close to our house (not close enough to walk but only like a 5 - 10 min drive). It has equipment and a water splash up pad thing and tons of stuff for kids. It also has a LAKE and a beautiful path and deer and bunnies and stray cats that I will eventually domesticate enough to take home with me (don't kill my dreams - just keep nodding your head) and the park is practically deserted most of the time. It has been an amazing find.

On the job front

I have had two interviews this past week that both went very very well. I would be grateful to work for either company. The two companies are very different and the jobs themselves are slightly different but both would entail doing training, which just makes me so excited! I'm going to describe both a bit in detail so feel free to skip this boring part  -
Job 1 - I'd be a trainer/consultant for a small software company that has created a product solely for the vast and confusing world of higher ed accreditation. They require you have an advanced degree (which makes me feel like maybe grad school was worth it afterall) and they pay well. Its VERY close to our house here (AWESOME!) and I think I would absolutely love what I'd be doing and would also really get the chance to push myself and move up since its such a small company. I wouldn't be doing quite as much training as the other job but the consulting portion of the job sounds equally as appealing to me, so I'm not bummed about the training part only being about 60% of the job.
Job 2 - I'd be a contract trainer working part time for a subsidiary of the State of Texas who does all their employee training. I'd train all sorts of things from tech topics to professional development topics. They are not flexible on the hours (classroom trainings are pretty standard 8 -5 with the trainer coming early and leaving late) but I get to choose what days I would work so hopefully I could try and make it work around Doug's schedule. Its also pretty close, pays reasonable and the company is really really great. I'd really get a TON of training experience under my belt and I think I could add some real value in other areas of the company and could even make it a full time role if it made sense/cents.
For Job 1 I have a second interview next week where I am doing a 30 min training to show my stuff. I plan to just blow it out of the water. I'm so excited to knock their socks off. I'm definitely more interested in Job 1 but I think either would just be an amazing blessing for our family. We are really getting down to the wire in the financials and could really use some employment.

On Working v Staying Home

I suppose I really came to terms with staying home a few weeks ago in the depths of my despair about it all. I felt like I really came to a point where I felt like if this was what God was asking me to do then I would learn to be happy doing it. I can very easily see the joy in staying home with the boys. On days where they were in a good mood and I had stuff to do and I could meet up with people or speak to adults at any time in the day (more than, "No I don't need the receipt. Thanks.") I had some really fabulous days. I feel like queen of my domain and was so pleased with myself for things like successful trips to Sam's Club. I think I'm happier working outside the home but I also think I could be happy not doing so as well. I take great comfort though in knowing that I'm just doing exactly what I feel God is telling me to do. Right now that looks like I will working which also means that we will have to figure out some childcare options. I feel really torn about that and I worry about time away from my little guys, but I also know that if I'm supposed to work then the Lord will also show me exactly what I should do with my boys. I have a lot more respect for stay-at-home moms and I think both routes can be both very difficult and very rewarding.

On Church

We still don't have really any friends but I do feel a lot of love from/for people at church. We have all the young 19 year-old missionaries over for dinner 2x a month and they are just so cute and earnest and...hungry. The church is responsible for feeding them but because our ward is of the generally poor kind, not a lot of people sign up to feed the poor kids. So we feed them pancakes or pasta or whatever. Its been a lot of fun to have them over.
I was asked to be the music leader for the children. I've been asked to be this before and have turned it down, but this time I felt the distinct impression that this is what I should do right now. I'm actually really excited! I keep thinking of all the wonderful VBS (vacation bible school) songs I learned as a child and all the wonderful traditional Christian/Baptist kids songs I learned that none of these Mormon kids will know. On the other hand, not having grown up LDS, I have no idea what any of these songs are that they sing. So I guess it will be a learning time for everyone. I'm only with the children for about 30 min so its just enough to have fun and not be stuck with a bunch of kids for hours on end at church. This will be one of the first ones I teach:

Zacchaeus was a wee little man
And a wee little man was he
He climbed up in a sycamore tree
For the Lord he wanted to see
And as the Savior passed that way
He looked up in that tree
And He said, “Zacchaeus, you come down!
For I’m going to your house today
For I’m going to your house to stay”

On the Boys

Sigh. I feel so in love. Seriously. I feel like a lovesick puppy for these guys. They are so wonderful. They are just smiley and laugh all the time. They love each other and they love me and Doug and they just bring so much joy to us and everyone around them. I mean, have you seen this video?

And lest I paint a fake picture, they do drive me crazy. Whitman is OBSESSED, obsessed I tell you, with eating dust bunnies. Seriously. You may laugh but this kid will literally pull fibers off of the rug or carpet until he gets enough to make a wad and then will shove the whole thing in his mouth. I am constantly pulling the nastiest crap out of his mouth. And Charlie. That kid. He is just into everything. And he is really really clingy right now. Like if I walk anywhere he needs to be right at my feet. And if I stand for more than two seconds in one spot then he will pull up on the back of my legs so I can't walk anywhere for fear that he will loose his precarious balance and fall. And they are teething again and have days where they are just SO whiny. But the nice thing about those days is that they sleep a whole lot more when they are teething so its slightly more tolerable.
But all that aside, they are just wonderful. They love to crawl up on to me or Doug and just lay their face on your face like this (sorry for the poor quality)

They love to go out on errands and they always behave whenever we go out...and the people always shout... I'll stop but seriously, they are well behaved. Its great. They both now crawl very well and love to chase Patches the cat. Charlie can pull himself up onto anything and can sorta walk a little bit when holding onto things. Whit is starting to pull himself up on stuff and is a very good walker when we hold his hands. They both have the little pincher hand move goin' on when they grab Puffs (dissolvable cereal snack thing). Whit loves water and will drink the entire sippy cups worth of water if I let him. Charlie, on the other hand, is not much interested in water. They love baths and they enjoy splashing each other and watching the water go down the drain. We showed them a laser pointer the other day and they chased the laser dot around everywhere. It was very funny and also I felt a little bad somehow, like I was making fun of their baby brains or something. Nonetheless, it was funny.
Here are a few more poor quality phone photos...

Charlie - left, Whit - right, more interested in chest than toys. Whit probably found a dust bunny...

Whit - left, Charlie - right, Charlie has his hand on Whit's leg. So sweet. 

Charlie - left, Whit - right

On me

I feel hopeful right now. I feel happy. I have yet to figure out how to train for the marathon in February and make amazing homemade meals each night and keep the house clean  (though I have far less dust bunnies these days...!) and possibly be employed/search for employment and do church and make friends and feed my marriage and keep connected with loved ones and all the other things that are important to me. I don't know how to balance it all. I've obviously let blogging slide a bit, eh? :) Truthfully, I don't spend much time online anymore and I'm grateful for it. I feel like I don't always like what I become when I spend gobs of time on the internet. I'm striving to find balance there too. I'm reading a ton more and I'm really just trying to soak up every moment with my boys. I know I likely won't be home all day with them forever and so I try to just enjoy my time with them. I feel like this whole thing is hard. Its a challenge. But its also exactly where we are supposed to be and knowing that has really made all the difference. I likely won't be blogging as often but I'll try to update every week or two and post more (and far better quality) pictures and videos of the boys.


Much love to you all

sad jo is sad

That is sad Whitman. That was taken moments before this...

I kinda know how he feels. 

This has been a really tough week. I think the transition was going ok at first. We were busy getting everything set up and we were mentally prepared for the challenge of the first few weeks. But then I think somewhere in the back of my mind I thought it should start getting easier by now. 

Doug had orientation last week and starts classes this week. I have a lot of mixed emotions right now. I'm so excited for him and this program. It feels right and I think this will seriously be one of the best things for him. But meanwhile this is exceptionally challenging for me. I've had my hand at being a SAHM now for a bit and my observations are this:

1. I have a very real and very strong respect for stay-at-home-moms. This is a really tough job. 

2. I will need to make serious efforts to stimulate my intellect. That sounds snobby or condescending or something I'm sure but this isn't some plight against other stay-at-home-moms. This is me. This is me who is used to spending a very large portion of my day getting to read all the academic journals and articles that I want and call it working. After 6 hours with my boys and having only read the instructions on how to hang the door johnny jumper bumper jump jump thing, I sorta want to take up...I don't know, calculus or something. 

3. This is a lonely job. Partly because its still one thousand degrees outside and partly because I have no idea where the hell I am, we don't go outside much. The boys schedule keeps us mostly indoors and since I have no friends here, I am alone inside most of the day. Some women from church have a playgroup thing but as terrible as it sounds, I'm sorta not interested because of the women who go. Is that so rude to say? Man I'm going to sound like a real snob here but I'm just writing it like it is. The women I gravitate towards at church (which granted I've only met a few and only briefly) but the two women I like best at church so far is one 65 year old retired professor who is so sharp and whitty and sassy and has a really great Texas accent and one woman who is around my age and is in a PhD program to become a geneticist. Unfortunately, neither of them go to playgroup. And neither of them have kids. 

4. Doing anything with twin crawling infants is insanely hard. This week I went to a WIC appt. Yes WIC. Thats where we are at. Medicaid this week. WIC last week. Food stamps next week. I am a leech to the system. Anyway, taking two babies to a WIC appointment by myself? OMG. First I decided that they might actually stay in their car seats and not crawl around so I carried both boys in their car seats for an exceedingly long distance (maybe not that far but it was one thousand degrees out as well and WIC isn't located next to Pottery Barn if you know what I'm sayin) So I was trying to go quick - with two 20lb babies + two 20lb car seats. So just getting in the damn building was rough. Then the actual appt was a nightmare. I was trying to fill out paperwork, keep both boys entertained and quiet IN THEIR CARSEATS for what ended  up taking 1.5 hours. Yes. I ended up taking them out of their seats once they started loosing it and then I tried to keep them both wrangled into the same area of the nasty linoleum floor while keeping random crap from the ground out of their mouths, to which they were none too pleased. I am now that evil woman who takes every cool thing they find on the ground away from them. "Look mom, a toe nail clipping!!!" RAAAAAHHHHHHH

5. That all said. I can totally do it. My new mantra is "Its only 2 years". On the days we stayed home I was able to feed them and get them to take naps and play with them and also make dinner and do lots of household chores. At some point in the future I imagine I will likely be able to go grocery shopping and perhaps make friends with people and see said friends. And I do really enjoy them (when not at the WIC office). They fantastic babies who aren't very fussy and are really sweet to me and each other. I will just set them on the floor in the kitchen and they are content to just play with measuring cups and bang on pots and pans while I clean or cook. And (I thought this was totally genius of me and this is the new type of thing I reward myself for thinking of instead of smart new corporate initiatives) I placed one of them in a jumper thingy contraption and the other one in a jumper thingy contraption so they could both be jumping right next to each other and I placed them right in the bathroom and I TOOK A SHOWER. Yup. I did. I took a shower while the boys played in jumper things in the bathroom door jam. Small victories but a victory nonetheless. 

Hopefully someday soon either Doug or I will get a job so I can stop stressing about money. I think I can be comfortable working or staying at home (though that is not my preference but again - insert mantra) but I just would like to know which it is and get on with it. If I'm going to be home then I need to come up with a plan that works for me to be able to not be sad jo all the time. If I'm going to be working then I will need to find childcare options when Doug is in class and figure out how to juggle all that. Right now Doug and I are both just applying to jobs like crazy and hopefully some day soon one of us will get one. 

They're cute, huh?!

Austin is HOT...and I don't mean sexy

105 today.

The fact that I'm still able to write a blogpost right now is a bit miraculous.

And if the heat doesn't get us, this cold will (see how I can still be punny despite being sick?). The whole Crabb fam is sick. The boys were all sick for about 5-6 days and right when I thought they were all getting better and I had held out from baby kisses for long enough, well, then I got sick. Blah. As you well know, I'm kinda a terrible person when I'm not feeling well. BUT I'd take me sick over the babies sick any. day. They were so pitiful with their little coughs and drooling from teething and sweating from everyday being like 105 stupid degrees. Fussy babies suck man. Especially two fussy babies. And then moving to a place where we don't know anyone who we can pawn them off on so we can get a few minutes to be away from said fussy babies. Double blah.

but LEST this post be a giant complain post, let's highlight some good things.

1. These babies are obsessed with black people. Its almost a bit embarrassing. They start reaching for them and smiling and bouncing all around whenever they see someone with beautiful dark brown skin. I guess living in a place without much diversity was more depriving them I even knew.

2. Despite going to church in a very rough area of town, we go to church with some really fabulous people. I met two beautiful ladies, sisters (actual sisters - not church lingo) in their late 60s, who have been a total God-send. They invited me and the babies over for dinner when we first got in town. They were just SO delightful. They are my only friends here thus far and I'm already abusing them. I'm borrowing a book (they have an incredible book collection of all the books that I want to read - we have very similar tastes - which really, actually, makes sense since I'm not-so-secretly a 75 year old in a 12, I mean 27, year olds body) AND they are watching the boys for us for two hours on Monday while Doug and I celebrate 7 years of mawage.  Friends are nice to have. I miss my friends. But this is the happy part of the post...

3. The babies can crawl and both of them have TWO teeth! I sorta feel like they are mobile little puppies now with their sharp little baby teeth gnawing on everything. We also have a new routine of giving them a bath every night since they get so sweaty here and every night when we plop them in the bathtub together and dump water on their heads, they laugh and laugh at seeing their brother's hair all matted down. Its really a lot of fun. And then they splash and splash. Whit also likes to put his hands in the water and then quickly put them in his mouth and try and suck up all the water he can.

4. 600 square feet ain't bad. We will totally be able to make this space work. The biggest challenge so far is the bathroom but we will get that better organized in the coming week.


Anyway, thats all for now. I hope to post a bit more often once we get fully settled, which will hopefully be by next week. I'll also do a bunch of before and after photos of this place if my camera doesn't melt. :)

Have a great Friday and weekend!

good music and good reads

Just a quick post with a few good reads and my new favorite song right now...

First, the song -

You should listen to it. Its good.

Second, one of the best articles I've read in a long time about the struggles of work/life balance as a working mother. This article is my life right now and it really is VERY well written.

Read it HERE.

Third, I actually read this article years ago but I still think about it. Its about racial disparity in our immediate social circles. Its so fascinating. The author takes out a craigslist ad to find a black friend. It really challenged me and makes you think about those with whom you surround yourself.

Read it HERE.*

*(its a bit of rough language at first. It was originally published in GQ which is NOT Christians Weekly or The Ensign...) 

And lastly, the boys have really taken notice of each other...

They now roll over on top of each other and pull each others hair and touch/smack/pinch each other's faces. I think its the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

You can check out more of our goings ons over on instagram HERE, including a picture of the amazing double rainbow we saw last night. 

Have a great weekend!

happenings

Well its been a little while. Life is crazy.

Here are the updates

The Boys

They have started to really take notice of each other. Charleston thinks Whitman is just about the funniest person on the planet. Whitman soaks it up and blows raspberries and makes noises with even more gusto when Charlie is watching.
Charlie is rolling around like a champ. We can no longer lay him down and expect him to be anywhere close to where he was previously. We also can no longer lay him on beds or couches. He also LOVES this crazy stand-up bouncer contraption. He would play in that thing all day. He is also getting pretty good at sitting with less and less support.
Whit is not interested in rolling over unless we lay him on his stomach, in which case he will roll over immediately and without any problems. He doesn't especially like sitting either. Mostly he just wants to lay on his back and make funny noises and babble and screech and make his brother laugh.
Charlie, on the other hand, is generally quiet. He doesn't make much noise and is very chill until he isn't. And then watch out. Man. That kid really has some lungs.
They both are pretty great with other people still. Charlie really has eyes for the ladies already, preferably ages 18-30 or so (sigh) and Whitman really lights up when anyone over the age of about 65 is around. I'm hoping that continues into at least his thirties.
They are also both really into grabbing mine and Doug's faces. They pull our faces close to theirs and try to put our faces in their mouths. Its really sweet and kinda painful and slobbery all at the same time.


The House/Move/Austin/Jobs situation

I've got a one-way ticket out of Provo on July 25th. I'm flying with the boys and my friend Missy.
Doug drives out that day or the next with our cat.
We are renting a VERY small house in an area of Austin called Jollyville. Sounds nice, right?
We don't have jobs.
We used a significant chunk of our savings to pre-pay rent for 6 months because we don't have verifiable income so no one wanted to rent to us unless we pre-paid.
We are slowly selling things and boxing up stuff.
We had buyers who had to rescind their offer because of some personal things and so we accepted one of the back-up offers just this past week. Selling a house is stressful.
We gave them a refresh tour this past Monday and it nearly broke my heart. I'm so sad to leave our beloved home.
I know. Onward and upward. But sadward. Sadward too.
I have a phone interview in about 30 min for a part-time instructor position with an education company. It probably wouldn't be enough to cover expenses but it might work. We'll see. I'm still contemplating the stay-at-home route. I have been considering giving it 6 months to see what I really think of it and then re-evaluating.

And also I found another graduate program that I think I'm going to apply for when we move to LA after Austin. I'm starting to think grad school is like having a baby(ies). The whole process during it is mostly awful but the end result is pretty great so you forget about all the crap you went through because you're so pleased with the result. Its natures convoluted way of increasing the educated population.

Damn nature.

Anyway, thats the happenings right now. Remember when I said life is crazy?

yeah.

random stuff Friday

via

remember how I said sometimes I hate the internets? ...like I wrote that a few days ago...

Well I love it again.

I love it when it is inspiring and hate it when it creates materialism and jealousy. I have a hard time guarding against those things sometimes.

Anyway, here are a few random things for Friday

this quote

“You must have some vision for your life. Even if you don’t know the plan, you have to have a direction in which you choose to go. You want to be in the driver’s seat of your own life because if you are not, life will drive you.”
- Oprah Winfrey

HERE is an interesting TED talk on web interfacing. Technology is soooo cool sometimes.

HERE is an fabulous article in the NY Times about the 80% of businesses in America that are considered small businesses and whether they can survive the emerging market and economic times

HERE is a boardroom table made out of Legos. Its awesome. 

HERE is the merging of science and art to create a hot air balloon desk. Also very awesome.

Lastly, HERE is a link to my instagram for pics of the boys' first experience in a swing. SO FUN!

Have a great weekend!

internet and instagram

sometimes I just get sick of the internet.

I've just started an instagram account for times like this past month when I don't feel like being on the internet but still want to post pictures for friends and family who want to keep up-to-date and see the boys, etc.

HERE is the link